1. Lyricists, you are not poets. (unless your name is Vedder, Keenan or Morrissey)
2. Videos are commercials. Enough said.
3. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ISN'T cool. You don't wanna end up there!
4. Good politics do NOT mean good lyrics.
5. Don't wear your own band's shirt. Just don't.
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Belgian coast, summer of 2008. Pro Pain is headlining at Sunrock (08/08/08). I haven't seen the band for many, many years. So I took the chance too see the band. It's a small world in Belgium Heavy-Metal-land. You always meet the same people : promotors, labels, magazines, etc.... At that time, I was out of buissiness. I just helped some friends with the organisation of their festival. Still, some people think I'm still doing radio (I quit in 2001). One of the blokes over their at Sunrock was Filip. Everybody is calling him Filip Alcatraz, refering to the famous pub he had in Ghent during the second half of the eighties. I was a bit surprised because I haven't seen him for many, many years. I didn't even know if he recognized me.

One year later (08/08/09): Saxon is headlining Alcatraz Metal Fest. A good reason to visit the Brielpoort (Deinze, Belgium).  Suddenly Filip Alcatraz came up to say hello. He hasn't forgotten about me. Surprise.....

Filip Alcatraz

It's not easy to start this topic about Belgian Rock Bands. Where do you start and what's the boarder of Heavy Metal? But that's not the most important thing about this column. Nostalgia has a lot to do with it and there is nothing wrong with that. On the other hand, I hope some readers will take the opportunity to check out some great bands from way, way back.

A good morning/evening/bar mitswa

I have been asked to write a column from time to time and we are going to try that as such. People who feel hurt or talked down to, tough luck! (A note: my English sucks harder than a Vietnamese prostitute with a vacuum cleaner up her ass)

In this column, we are going to search the link between beer and metal. As an example, we will use a description of a normal gig.

Before the first band starts to play, we arrive in the room with the stage, bar and so on. Everyone talks to one another en behaves quite normal. Everybody wears about the same style of clothing, off course that’s not because we all succumb to peer pressure and are all fashion victims so we can express ourselves, but we all ‘like’ the same style, strange as it may be. Surething!

After a while, the first band starts to play. The public is a little tame which is quite normal. We all have a certain fear to start a mosh or a session of head banging. What would other people think of them if they did?

The second band enters the stage and everyone is loosening up a bit. If this is due to alcohol, we do not know. At a certain point, the band announces a song about beer. What happens next is unexplainable. Even Darwin would not be able to find a proper answer for this one!

As an example, we’ll use my own band Poppy Proudneck (publicity!) who received a failed review on this on this e-zine by the way (screw you, Fueled magazine!). Our singer announces the song: “This is our last song. It’s about Dionysus, The Greek God of booze.”

At this moment, strange things start to happen! The entire crowd (like 10 people or so) starts to yell and scream unexplainable sounds. It’s like a bunch of caveman who do not agree whether they are going to hunt a mammoth or a gazelle. Give them a mace and they destroy everything around them, their wives included. A sane, articulated word is at this point, you can call it utopia.

Some cavemen are also raising their horns when they hear something about beer or booze, another fashion thingy. We all know, a horn is much more easier to drink from then a glass.
To continue about these horns. It’s about time we start to laugh with these people. We already laugh about people who wear black metal corpse paint (In Dutch: panda’s) because they really don’t seem to know corpse paint is part of an act and not something to wear in your free time. In general, the same goes for these horns. We all should point and laugh if we see someone with a horn!

My tip of the day for a better world!